From Behind The Lines: A NJ Gun Show Without The Guns

For the average reader of the New York Times, a “gun show” is a collection of gang-bangers, career criminals, and disgruntled teen would-be mass murderers all getting together to sell machine guns to one another. They do this using the dreaded “gun show loophole” which lets them buy and sell guns with impugnity while evading the reasonable and well intentioned eyes of the government. With such a concentration of the dregs of society all gathered together in one place, it must be awfully dangerous. You know… sort of like a crack house without the militant looking enforcer at the door to keep the peace. To an erudite upper west side Democrat it probably seems a miracle that anyone ever survives the things. But as I’m sure you can imagine, the reality of gun shows is not the same as the yarn that the New York Times is spinning.

The biggest way that gun show reality diverges from the liberal fantasy is that there is that there is no such thing as a gun show loophole. Anti-gun lobbying groups have invented that phrase from whole cloth. All firearm sales are subject to the same federal restrictions at all times whether that sale is made in a shop, at a gun show booth, or anywhere else. Everyone engaged in the business of selling firearms has been required to obtain a federal license since 1938. The buyer must submit to a federal NICS check, (the National Instant Criminal Search system run by the FBI) which is used to determine whether the buyer is a felon or has been judged mentally ill. And they must be in compliance with all state laws before they can buy that gun; even those silly “one gun a month” and “5 day waiting period” laws that some states have. All of this is true at a gun show or anywhere else.

That the anti-gun political groups use such an out and out falsehood so prominently in their ad campaign should tell you something about the reliability of them.

I absolutely love gun shows; the real ones, not the things imagined in the liberal editorial pages. They are a flea market for fans of firearms, and they carry the same wild variety and low prices that other flea market’s do. I went to one a few weeks back in Valley Forge Pennsylvania that was just great. There were 12 people selling eclectic military surplus gear alone. You could buy surplus South African Army ammunition, gunsmith tools (Hungarian or Chinese, you’re choice), and an East German motorcycle helmet within ten feet of each other, and for no more money than you paid in gas to get there. There was a guy who could sell you every military patch and medal from every major army of the 20th century. Another could sell you spare parts kits for the Japanese “Arisaka” rifle that you grandfather snuck back from Guam, and the official Red Army manual for an AK47, in the original Cyrillic.

Oh yeah, there were also some guys there who sold guns.

Most of them are local dealers, but the guys who pay particular attention to the “gun show circuit” are the guys who specialize in used equipment. You see, a gun isn’t worth zero just because it’s had a bullet go down the barrel. Guns that have been well cared for hold their value extremely well, and many appreciate rapidly. So gun shows often turn out to be a way to get a really great deal on something unusual. For instance, At the Valley forge gun show I was inches away from buying an old Parker Bothers side by side 12 gauge shotgun with Damascus barrels, that a guy was selling without even having cleaned it. It had maybe 50 years of dust and grime on it, but it might have been a treasure underneath (If it were a 20 gauge I wouldn’t have left without it)

Most of the other gun dealers all had specialties as well. One area which is really hot right now is Red Army surplus, and there were four or five tables full of model 91/30 and M44 bolt action rifles which could be bought in boxes of six or twelve on the cheap. There were nearly as many dealers of British Enfield and German Mauser equipment, but both were overshadowed by the interest in the US made M1 Garand. The M1 was the standard issue service rifle of US forces in WW2, and was the only semi-automatic rifle in the game. As such, it represented a big advantage to the US foot soldier during the war, and it has since occupied a place in the heart of firearms buffs like few other rifles. Fans of the thing are everywhere at gun shows, and you can get everything from Korean Army surplus for a few hundred dollars, to unfired low serial number originals which can sell for the price of a new car. There is something for everyone at a gun show.

And that’s the thing I really love about them; their egalitarian nature. They are a free market more or less; at least once you get past all the federal and state licensing restrictions for sellers, the record keeping requirements (both state and federal), buyers pre-purchased firearms Id’s (which require a six month wait), pistol purchase permits (another six month wait), and the federal instant criminal background checks, which in reality are not always instant and sometimes take days. Like I said, a free market. Well… at least they aren’t totally illegal. Well, not everywhere.

This past weekend I attended the 25th anniversary “NJ Outdoor Sportsmen’s Show”, which was held within sight of the Atlantic ocean, just a few minutes from my house. Those of you who have been following along at home know that New Jersey has a unique antipathy to all things gun related, so the “NJ Outdoor Sportsmen’s Show” is a little unusual; like a fair for an activity that most “civilized” people in the state would disapprove of. But it’s still about as close to the teeming mass of consumers in New York City that many of these vendors will ever have a chance to get, so there were quite a few booths. There were dozens of hunting guides and taxidermists. Fishing is really big in New Jersey so there were some small boat sales, and people selling gear. There was a tank full of bass at the far end of the show, and a kiddie pool full of trout where the kids could try to hook one. There were people selling jerky, and candy, and there was even a discreet and hilariously concealed booth from Skoal tobacco selling their (apparently very evil) wares.

And there were two other booths that frankly, seemed very out of place. They were both “shooting gallery’s” one virtual, and the other a bb pistol range. But it was a hunting show with all kinds of references to shooting, so why did they seem so out of place? They were the only place where I could actually see even a fake gun. In New Jersey, even many toy guns are illegal and Airsoft guns are considered firearms, so this “Outdoors” show, was literally a NJ version of a gun show, but naturally, without the guns. In truth, I came away feeling really depressed about the whole thing. I mean, where were the guys selling all the useless junk that I loved to rummage through when I travel out of state to an actual gun show? Where were all the bargains, and experts and minutiae and fun?

To me it felt a lot like a like a trip to an east German department store before the wall came down. They’re prohibited by the all-powerful state from selling the stuff that everyone wants, and the stuff they can sell, no one can afford. I mean, who buys a $20,000 Alaskan hunting trip at a booth at a trade show? Sure you may buy a bass boat one day, but you aren’t going to buy it there. And even the local sporting goods store that had a booth presence turned out to be the most overpriced store in the area. You can get the same stuff they sell for a fraction of the price at Dicks or Walmart.

Maybe the hunting focus would keep away some of the military surplus guys, but in a free society there would have certainly been someone there from Glock and Remington. And I’m sure all of the local gun dealers would have liked to be there as well; this is their client base after all. There could be people selling shotguns for bird hunting, rifles for elk, and cannons for Alaskan bear. Beretta could have been there, and maybe Holland and Holland with some of their uber-beautiful engraved rifles on display. But that won’t happen in New Jersey, because the central committee (otherwise known as the legislature) has spoken, and we can’t have gun shows there. It’s simply too dangerous for us, and they’ve banned them for our own good whether we like it or not.

New Jersey is a small state, so I can still go to gun shows an hour or so to the west in Pennsylvania. And those dealers all know how ridiculous New Jersey’s laws are so they make sure there’s someone at the show who can legally transfer a firearm to a New Jersey resident. New Jersey makes it really tough, but thankfully, they can’t make it impossible. There is still a free state just on the other side of the Delaware River. And in the meantime, the rest of us will either go through the motions here, or leave like roughly 250,000 other people have done since 2002. (The guy doing one-way U-haul rentals must be cleaning up)

And that reminds me of an East German joke. One morning in 1986 the party chairman goes to his office, looks out the window and says “Good morning Sun” the sun replies “good morning comrade chairman”. At 1PM, the chairman looks up and says “Good afternoon Sun” and the sun Replies “good afternoon comrade chairman”. At sunset, the chairman looks up and says “Good evening sun”, but gets no response. Then he says again “Good evening sun” but still nothing. Then he says “Sun, why don’t you respond to me” and the sun says “I’m in the west now so you can go screw yourself”.

I live in the people’s republic of New Jersey, but just off to the west, is the freedom of Pennsylvania. And if I had any sense, I’d probably tell the New Jersey legislature to go screw itself too. Just like more and more of my neighbors do every year.