Monday, October 19, 2009

- I'm Finally Down With Obama



As much as I’ve complained about him, Barak Obama has been very good to me so far.

“How’s that” you may ask? Have I been the recipient of vast sums of borrowed government money targeted for the downtrodden, or has my company received government guarantees for our credit? Nope and Nope. Has his vision of our collective future dominated by government insurance mandates and environmental regulation filled me with a sense of well being so intense that it’s usually reserved for pampered children? Nope. Has the way he’s stuck steadfastly by his (empty) campaign promises for a new and more open kind of politics left me more reassured about the people in Washington? Nope.

So what is it that’s got me so pleased with Obama? Well to be frank… He got me out of a traffic ticket. Or as my daughter more correctly said “Making fun of Obama got me out of a ticket”.

On my car is a bumper sticker which works the Obama symbol into the phrase “Honk if I’m paying your mortgage”. When they see it, conservatives usually laugh like hell and honk up a storm while liberals give it the Scooby Doo look and say “I don’t get it”. So this past weekend while my daughter and I were on our way to our bi-weekly daddy – daughter breakfast date at the local diner, I absent mindedly changed lanes with no blinker, and was pulled over by a local cop.

He came to the window smiling. I didn’t realize why, but he reached out and touched my rear fender as he went by. I thought at first I had a light out or something. When I handed him my license, registration and insurance he looked at them quickly to see they were current, informed me of my violation, and told me that he wasn’t going to write me a ticket and that he also ‘really liked my bumper sticker’. I smiled and thanked, him, promised to be more careful in the future, and we each went our (slightly merrier) merry way.

My daughter and I looked at each other for a minute, and then burst out laughing. She thought it was absolutely hysterical that for all I complain about him and yell at the TV, President Obama still got me out of a ticket. To tell you the truth, I thought it was pretty funny too. And from that moment on my feelings about Obama started to change. His arrogance began to seem more like generosity to me. His liberal myopia and west wing insulation from reality began to seem more like gifts. Because I realized that for all my whining, I’m actually making a killing off this guy.

Because he and his staff understand so little about how a modern economy works, he’s destroying it in ways that are entirely predictable. He has all the economic wisdom and foresight of a college sophomore in the English literature department. He’s apparently believed every bit of idiot socialist tripe that’s come down the pipe since the Carter administration, and he’s acting on all of it. And that’s turned out to be a windfall for guys like me who can anticipate and react to that in advance.

He’s borrowed like a drunken teenager with his daddy’s credit card, and squandered all the money on pro labor nonsense. (So much so that it looks like he’s going to go back and get more.) He’s eroded confidence in the US economy, causing the dollar to plummet and commodities to skyrocket. He’s offended our allies, given huge concession to our enemies and basically done all he can to degrade the position of America in the world. And the best part is, I could have (and mostly did) tell you all of this a year ago.

I’ve even done better than many of my peers. That’s because some people in my profession find it hard to trust their eyes with things like this. For people who analyze markets for a living, it can be hard to believe that full grown adults like Obama and his advisers could be so economically naïve. In fact, a year ago, I would make my case about what I thought they would do in terms of economic policy and people would say to me, “Nah… they can’t be THAT stupid!” And I would respond with, “Oh… I’m willing to bet they are”. And in fact that’s exactly how it’s turned out.

Of course, the downside to all of this is that it will hasten the destruction of western civilization and turn America into a second rate power with a third world economy. It will destroy America’s middle class, erode their savings, shatter their living standard and will replace the only chance they might have of improving their own lot with a series of government mandates and layer upon layer of bureaucracy. And America’s ‘poor’ are going to stop worrying about the air conditioning and premium vs. basic cable, and start worrying about how to better waterproof the cardboard box they’re living in. But those are the breaks I suppose.

In my view I’m simply taking the lemons the Democrats have given me and I’m making lemonade out of them… very expensive, limited reserve lemonade. Because it seems to me that the best way to avoid the dismal fate that Obama’s making for America’s middle class is to get rich enough so that I’m no longer a member of it. They still have rich people third world countries after all. There are private jets in Peru, and luxury yachts anchored in Nigeria. So while he may be screwing most of the people most of the time, he won’t be able to screw everyone. And I’m going to make sure he doesn’t actually get to screw me.

You see… that’s the real problem with socialism…it’s that people like me don’t believe in it and never will. Obama believes that someone like me only profits because I unfairly use my advantages, but they forget that my real advantage is that I’m smarter than most people, and I work harder than everyone. That’s the hardest of the hard facts for people like him who hold animating principles which come from the far left. Try as they might, they haven’t yet figured out how to redistribute the actual intelligence and hard work. And to date, they've always stopped just short of passing laws to prevent disctimination against the stupid and lazy.

Which brings to mind the very sage advice my dear friend and legendary currency trader Roy Lennox gave me when we were discussing Obama during the election. Roy is a little older you see and could still remember what it was like to trade during the Carter administration. “It’s never easier to make money in the markets” he said to me one day ”than when there is a Democrat in the Whitehouse who thinks he’s smarter than everyone else.” Thanks Roy, turns out you were absolutely right. I guess Obama really was running for Jimmy Carter’s second term after all.

So as long as our ‘dear leader’ doesn’t get us blown up by an Iranian nuke or surrender New Jersey to the Russians, I think I’m going to stop complaining about Obama for now. And when tries to pass off another labor union bailout as healthcare reform all I’ll have to say is “You go girl”. When he blames speculators and uncooperative corporate interests for runaway inflation and soaring commodity prices I’ll say “That’s right…. you get em!” And when he decides to nationalize the energy producers to make them ‘more efficient’ I’ll shout “Long live the Revolucion” from the rooftops.

Like the man said, “It’s the end of the world as we know it… and I feel fine.”

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