Tuesday, February 1, 2011
- The Itty Bitty Mayor Bought A Great Big Gun
What a bizarrely polarized world we live in.
This week, Mike Bloomberg, (artist's rendering shown above - without his nurse's uniform) took time out from working in the diamond mine with his friends Happy, Sleepy and Doc, to send a team of undercover operatives to buy guns in Arizona. It's perfeclty legal for them to buy guns in Arizona so astoundingly, they succeeded.
They made sure they got exactly the same make, model and magazine, that was used by what's his name, that crazy guy who shot the congresswoman. And they did this to demonstrate to all Americans how the firearm laws in Arizona don't comply with those in New York City - a city which is in a completely different state... 1500 miles away. I'm sure the salons of the upper east side were all a twitter with metro-sexual chortling at the way the southwestern rubes were so easily duped.
Maybe next they can demonstrate that the laws about bicycle helmets and salt consumption are different in Vancouver British Columbia than they are in New York. I know - it's in a different country - but surely that won't make any difference to Mayor Mike. I mean... if the lower salt content can prevent just one Canadian case of high blood pressure, then it will all be worth it right?
It's no secret that Mike Bloomberg doesn't think his political influence should be restricted to New York City just because of the piddling detail that it's the only place that he was actually elected to anything. But it strikes me as amazing that the biggest city in the country STILL isn't big enough for the ego of such a tiny little man. He honestly must have the smallest penis in North America to be so desperately driven to tell other people how to run their lives. What an arrogant jerk.
Then on the same day that I hear about nurse Bloomberg's adventures in the southwest, my buddy Craig sends me this little trinket. It seems that five South Dakota lawmakers have introduced legislation to require any adult 21 years or older, to buy a firearm sufficient to provide for their ordinary self defense. Here's the classic quote from Re. Hal Wick - R-Sioux Falls:
“Do I or the other cosponsors believe that the State of South Dakota can require citizens to buy firearms? Of course not. But at the same time, we do not believe the federal government can order every citizen to buy health insurance,” he said.
If I ever get the chance I think I'd like to buy Rep. Wick a beer, he seems like my kind of politician. I don't get out to Sioux Falls much so I guess I'll just send him a campaign contribution instead. That's something all politicians can appreciate.
As for the lilliputian Mayor Bloomberg, I think I'll stick to pointing and laughing.