Every summer in the weeks before the 4th of July, the towns along the Delaware river increase their revenue by setting observers just across the border in Pennsylvania. The observers watch the parking lots of the Fireworks dealers that are strategically positioned there, and radio back the make, model and license plate numbers of everyone from NJ who stops in to make a purchase. The police then wait at the NJ side of the bridge, arrest the perpetrators, and impound their vehicles.
Not exactly the kind of tribute that the founders intended for America's birthday I know, but it's a very effective way for your modern day police state to raise some quick cash. In NJ, the price of this particular kind of patriotism is still pretty high. So if you're planning on buying Fireworks for the 4th of July, you had better do it no later than May. I'm just saying.
To add a little tenth amendment issue to the whole thing, fireworks are illegal in Pennsylvania as well. Well ... sort of. It's legal to sell them, it's just illegal to set them off. So you can only buy them if you promise to take them to another state. I'm told you have to sign an affidavit that says that you'll transport them elsewhere before they let you take them from the shop. So even the people who sell them to you know you're breaking a law somewhere, but since it isn't actually in Pennsylvania, at least they are polite enough to mind their own business about it.
Like most redneck kids, I played with fireworks whenever I could. Back then it was considered much less of a federal case. In fact, my dad tells this hysterical story about a 'roman candle' duel that he and his best friend Harry had, somewhere around 1955. I'd repeat it here but it's so funny in person that I'd never do it justice.
One step short of the roman candle duels of my dad's generation were the artillery battles that my childhood friend Mark and I would have using bottle rockets circa 1976. They were less accurate than roman candles, and probably just a little less dangerous, but every bit as exciting.
These days they don't even let kids play dodge ball.
Yes fireworks represent a risk. But until you say those immortal last words "hey... hold my beer and watch this...', then it seems to me most adults could probably manage it. I personally think the world was a better place when the state didn't make it illegal for us to take a chance. But in NJ, those days are past. And since that's so, there will be no backyard fireworks in NJ this year.
Next year they will probably ban hotdogs because of the cholesterol and apple pie because of it's high calorie content, so enjoy yourself while you can. A big energetic government like we have in NJ has to do things to justify itself. And like it or not, the person they're going to be doing them to ... is you. Then again, it does beat going up against master-blaster, which might be the way we celebrate next year.
Happy 4th of July.
2 comments:
I grew up in PA and didn't know about this. Apparently it's only legal to sell real fireworks in PA to people who can prove residency in another state.
Ground-based consumer novelty fireworks are still allowed though. NJ doesn't even allow sparklers.
http://www.portal.state.pa.us/portal/server.pt/community/psp/4451/fireworksfaq/537214
I now live in Pennsylvania, but grew up in Michigan. When I was 18, we had to go to Ohio to buy fireworks, as describe, also signing the affidavit, and producing an out-of-state identification. The funny thing is, Ohioans did the same thing in reverse - they'd come to Michigan and do the same thing. I'm sure laws were being broken, but cars were not being impounded as result, thank God.
It just saddens me that my boys won't be able to have the same fun with fireworks as I did when I was a kid.
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