Wednesday, August 17, 2011

- No Foot Dangling Allowed

My 11 year old daughter took this picture under the dock no more than 40 feet from my father in law's back door. My father in law's place is on the inter-coastal waterway about a mile from the bay - so the brackish water is perfect for gators. This is just a little one. There is a much bigger one hovering around someplace, but he must have been able to smell my affinity for cajun food, and hasn't shown his face since the day we arrived.

Another much bigger one crawled up onto the back lawn last year and spent 1/2 an hour hissing at my father in law while he tried to tend his garden. He was fresh from hip surgery at the time and was still using a walker to get around. And since his limited mobility was making him feel kind of threatend by the 300 pound predator that had camped out along side his tomatoes, he did what most men would do. He took his .22 rifle out into the back yard, carefully shot the thing, and lacking my recipe for gator creole, pushed its carcass into the bay.

This brings us to the point in the story where he found out that it's illegal to be a man in 21st century Florida.

I won't go into the drama that ensued when his A-hole environmentalist neighbor called the police. My wife will probably already be angry at me for telling you all this much. But the long and short of the story is that the state of Florida is not in the business of sending 77 year old geriatrics with no criminal record to the slammer for protecting themsevles in their own gardens. After much courtroom fuss and some johhny on the spot 'mis-translation' from Hungarian to English by my wife (the hungarian equivalent of "Go F yourself" was magically transformed into "I respectfully disagree") he got a 300 dollar fine instead of the three years in prison that he might have gotten.

So this guy under the dock will live to see another day, even if my gastornomic tendencies say he shouldn't. But I will confess that while we were sitting there fishing for tilapia away from the girls, my father in law did suggest that I bring my 'bow' next year.

1 comment:

Hell_Is_Like_Newark said...

Too bad about his physical condition at the time. Would have been nice if he had the opportunity to skin it. Might have gotten enough to make a good pair of shoes and a wallet for his troubles.