- Boy, you just can’t beat the Gulf of Mexico in August. The beaches are empty, the water is 90 degrees, it's crystal clear, and if you’re polite about it you can drink beer on the beach without getting hassled by anyone. The dolphins will swim to within about 20 yards of the beach as will the bait fish schools they're chasing, but I don't have a problem with that.
- The beach we go to not only has no ‘”buttinsky” lifeguards blowing their whistles every three seconds, but it also has no restrictions on trans-fats, no public smoking bans and no A-hole "know it all" liberals anywhere that I could detect. It was like getting in a time machine and going back to ‘free America’. I wasn't drinking and I don't smoke, but knowing I could was like lifting a weight off my shoulders.
- If you’re going to drive to the Gulf from NJ, figure out how long you’ll be on the road and leave early enough to arrive at your destination about sundown if you drive straight through. If that means you have to leave at midnight, do it. Driving two days seems easier at first, but it’s actually much worse. Better to either be at your destination or back at home than in some bedbug ridden motel in North Carolina.
- If you plan on keeping up with your exercise while on vacation, get out there and do your running (or whatever) before the sun clears the trees. At those latitudes the shade is about 15 degrees cooler, even at 7 in the morning. And at dawn in the Gulf coast area the humidity is almost always 100%. So a few degrees cooler makes a big difference.
- Some sunblocks are apparently more ‘water resistant’ than others.
- Don’t expect to be able to buy decent shellfish anywhere in Florida. Apparently they’ve never seen a little-neck clam more than ½ an inch across. Several people were amazed to learn they come in larger sizes and one man told me that I was out and out mistaken about it. I’m sure they have them someplace, but it’s like shopping in Manhattan. If you don’t already know where to go, you’ll waste so much time that it won’t be worth it when you finally get them.
- I’m told Virginia is really tough for speeding tickets, but that doesn’t match my experience. I zipped through Virginia at an average speed of about 90mph. In fact, I managed to get to the gulf and back with no police interaction whatsoever. But in Georgia, it was only by pure luck.
- In rural northern Florida during an Egg McMuffin stop, a guy about my age knocked on my window and asked permission to take a picture of my ‘Honk If I’m Paying Your Mortgage’ bumper sticker. It was fine with me of course. But things must move really slowly in rural Florida.
- There was an accident on I95 in North Carolina Saturday which left us stuck behind a 1.5 hour traffic jam, and then sent on a scenic but otherwise infuriating hour long detour through the strawberry fields of greater Nash County – all of it traveled at about .4 miles per hour. We later learned that three people were killed in the crash that had caused our inconvenience. Which brings me to my final tip:
- Wear those seat belts at all times. Especially if you're going to drive as fast as I do.
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