Thursday, March 7, 2013

- US Welcomes North Korean Nuclear Strike

Dear Kim Jong-Un,

I think it would be tough for you to find an American who is more critical of our current leaders than me. I have frequently referred to President Obama as "our first female President". By this I didn't mean to imply that he was a homosexual, he obviously is not. But I did mean it to imply that he isn't very masculine, and that he would probably be submissive to any real leader if he ever actually met one.

I believe that his passiveness and cowardice in the face of real leadership is exceeded only by his political opposition. The Republican leader of the house bursts into tears every time the wind changes direction and has been continuously bullied and battered by Obama and his generally effeminate team since the latter's election as President.

But even though our leaders are all little more than weak kneed women who would probably surrender to threats from the French, and have no more strength of will than your average 13 year old girl, I'm quite sure they would all be unable to suppress their desire to laugh directly in your face at your obviously hollow nuclear threats.

I don't speak for anyone in America but me. I'm the leader of no organization, and represent no meaningful group of people. But I am typical of a particular demographic of Americans for which this country used to be known.

And speaking as a self appointed spokesman for that component of Americans, I'd like to say that I welcome your effort at a pre-emptive nuclear strike. Fire away. Give it your best shot. I await the warm glow of your nuclear fallout. In truth, our anti-missile shield would probably prevent it actually striking US soil. but I don't think you should allow that you hold you back. You never know... you might get lucky.

In truth, the only thing that would probably come of your effort is that it would finally give us an excuse to eliminate your pointlessly cruel and oppressive regime. Not even the Chinese would balk if we retaliated against you for a pre-emptive nuclear strike, and the Chinese are the only thing that's saving you at the moment anyway.

While your cousins to the south have entered the 21st century as economic leaders, and your people have risen to leadership in every industry and market on the planet, you've kept your half of the country (the half with most of the natural resources coincidentally) stuck firmly in the 1950's for no reason but to indulge your personal vanity. You, your father, and your shared ancestors who have choked the northern half of the Korean people for generations, are among the worst human beings to ever have lived. And you will be remembered by history as some of the planet's cruelest, most pointless tyrants.

So I say... fire away. You can target me personally if you like. I'm just 19 miles south-southwest of our largest city. Come and get me you ridiculous little insecure clown.


frithguild said...

Submissive? You haven't met my x.

Tom said...

The troglodytes (I'm not saying where) are all a flutter at the idea that Kim can simply put a nuke on a boat and float it into Us waters, but that totally misses the point.
Even if his threats weren't as transparent as glass, it wouldn't have the desired effect to simply explode a nuke. He has to do it with a missile to prove the long arm of North Korean might. Any 2 bit terrorist can sneak a nuke into the US. That's not what he wants. He wants respect. (What he really wants is to be bought off, and he probably will be... but it's premised on his desire for respect. That's his only upside. And for that he needs a daytime missile strike, not a smuggler in the dead of night.)

Chess said...

Ill disagree with your notion that he isnt a homosexual....This is a marriage of necessity....I may not live long enough for the secret service to spill their guts but ....We will see

Tom said...

I think his kids look like him, and that's evidence enough for me.

The truth is I care so little whether he is or isn't that I never thought about it any further than that. But he says he is heterosexual and there is no upside for that statement in his circles, so between that and his kids I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.

ikaika said...

Kim Jong Un is doing exactly what pop and grand pop taught him to do.
Stupid Americans think they are speacial by reading select excepts from The Art of War" and then they fooloshly apply it to anyone that appears Asian.
North Podunkorea launches a garbage can into a high altitude, develops a rudimentary fission bomb but does not have a system of stabile delivery. Insstead of saying "we're not there yet?"
young Un acts like a Personal Injury Plaintiffs attorney and says "I'm ready to go!"
months later, the UN and John Kerry will pay a visit and apply copious brown lipstick to Jr's hiney.
chip off the ol' block

ikaika said...

It's not quite as funny when Life resembles art:

chess said...

Im not saying he didnt father the kids.. Hes got sperm... There are lots of gay men trying to live heterosexual lives. Some last but alot fail. In the end its the reward that determines alot of em. His reward was Being prez... I don care I have several homosexuals friends across the genders...

How do you return a nuke and not wind drift across South Korea. You cant. Plus driftage across a chunk of China. If we have to return a blow itl have to be surgical.

ikaika said...

you dig up the old Eisenhower Atomic Cannon. That was the device that forced the Chinese to the cease fire. although liberal muss claims it was negotiations and diplomacy.
Atomic Cannon: highly impractical, unpredictable, but we're crazy enough to use it!

Hell_Is_Like_Newark said...


we even had a recoiless nuclear rifle... the Davy Crockett.

Chess said...

long time ago Frith brought to my attention the Isreali Iron Dome. If you cant take away the missle threat it helps. But if the kid idiot wants to go out with a bang he just drives up the the dm zone and lets one off. The spread would be enough to make S. Korea toast from blast and fallout.
Id say Iron Dome and then take the dm zone north by 10 miles with miitary weapons. But my gut says it would all end badly . As if living there now isnt a hell for its people.
In reality the Chinese just need to put an end to it.