Wednesday, June 22, 2016

- Feminism And "White Privelege"

This is kind of an apology to all the woman haters out there. I get it now. Women can be, and often are, completely horrible. I apologize for not being more sympathetic about it. It’s never really been an issue for me personally. But since my divorce and my engagement in the manosphere, I’ve been learning about what a curse it is to be an average guy in the American dating market. I hate to divulge my own guilelessness, but the fact is, it never occurred to me how good I had it.

I’ve described myself so many times here that I don’t see the need to bother again. It should suffice to say that in many ways I’m ‘above average’ in attractiveness to women. So much so that 2 weeks ago I got cold approached in a restaurant by two modestly attractive young girls who obviously wanted to go home with my friend and I, but until they contrived a reason to talk to me I hadn’t noticed them. It happened to me again in a shop on Sullivan Street this past weekend (this time from a very cute young girl – a solid 9). She was closer to my daughter’s age than my own, and I didn’t take her seriously.

When I look back though, it’s always been this way with me. I know this seems like shameless bragging but it isn’t. I’m just trying to give some perspective on a guy who totally unbeknownst to himself, always had things exceptionally easy in a game that for most people really isn’t so easy at all.

The truth is, I have never had to try very hard with women and even now, fairly deep into middle age, I still don’t have to. That ease and almost complete lack of rejection is what’s defined my general attitude toward women. Feminists may call me a misogynist all the time, but I don’t hate women. I adore women. And the vast majority of them have always adored me back. But having never been on the receiving end of women’s cruelty and betrayal, its left me with a very different view than most. I’ve seen that now more clearly in the stories of others, and I’m beginning to realize what it’s like for most men.

It’s also pretty deeply affected my perspective with other men. On the northwest corner of 41st street and Lexington Avenue is an excellent pizzeria where I often have lunch. It’s owned by an affable blue collar Irish American guy from Long Island, but his workers are almost exclusively Mexican. These guys are all legal residents, all speak accented English, and work like nothing you’ve ever seen. I don’t know if they like it or not, or if they aspire to greater things. But they make one hell of a pizza.

I’m not at all threatened by these men. I’m never going to compete with them for a job or with women. They would have no shot with the women I’m normally involved with. Though their individual sizes and shapes vary a bit, as a rule they are shorter and squatter than average, and much more so than me. My Anglo-Norman genetic stock looks to most women like I’m among the men who rule the world, while they look like the guys who tend to the horses. That sort of thing matter to women a great deal. But for those men who might have to compete with them for jobs or dates, I can see why they might not particularly want to import a bunch more of them. things are tough enough without any new competition.

The woman I’m dating these days is 12 years younger than me. She was born in Oregon, but is the daughter of two Taiwanese immigrants who have 3 PHD’s between them. She works for a boutique Investment bank that specializes in M&A and she reports directly to one of the founding partners. She owns her apartment in the best part of the village (Alec Baldwin lives next door), and in terms of looks, she most closely resembles a particularly cute and Chinese version of Kelly Ripa. The site of her in her Dolce & Gabbana heels can cause traffic accidents.

She likes to joke that my lack of average-ness is my ‘white privilege’. At the sight of me people assume a high income, high IQ, and all the things that go with it. And since the dating opportunities for middle aged men greatly outshine those for women over 30, with my newly single status I’ve become the New York City equivalent of the hot cheerleader from high school. She says that’s what ‘privilege is’. People naturally assume I’m better than average, because guys that look and dress like me so often are. Women will maneuver into my line of sight, and men will treat me with courtesy and respect in case there is some circumstance where I can help their career one day.

All this is kind of funny to me, especially since I am far more trailer park than yacht club and have never had any real privilege in my life. But that stuff doesn’t show. Judging people by appearance is all the rage in New York these days, and all my appearance says is that in spite of my humble origins, I won the genetic lottery. No one saw the 100 hour weeks I put in at JPMorgan, or all the 3 AM calls I took from Billionaires assistants after working a 15 hour day. No one saw the paralyzing stress or the enormous responsibility. All they know is that I look the part. and looking the part is the whole point. It makes women find you more attractive, and "that" she says, "is the real privilege".

I don’t look down at anyone who doesn't look like me, and though I confess to being an ‘intelligence’ snob, I don’t see myself as being any better than anyone else. Of the people who do think worse of me for appearances, the only reason they assume I’m looking down at them is that they've been taught that when they look at me they're looking up. But it isn’t my fault that people who look like me have an established reputation. We built it by working hard, being polite, being generally smart, and by being creative, ambitious, and enterprising. To the degree that I deserve the accusation of "white privilege", I actually earned every bit of it.

The fact that the girl I mentioned is Asian has actually given me an interesting perspective regarding how non-white people view the concept of ‘white privilege’. White men like me are what all the white women want - and all the Asian women - and all the Latin, black, and Eskimo women. We are the ‘in demand’ gene pool among men. Take every woman in the top 1% of attractiveness for her subspecies of human, and what they want their kids to look like when they grow up is me. Cultural norms have grown up around that, but it has nothing to do with culture. It’s a genetic preference to the traits that white men have demonstrated. All that has given me an enormous advantage when dating that until very recently, I was blissfully unaware.

Average guys have a very different experience, and it explains why so much of America’s political discussion is based on envy. If I were shorter, bald, had trouble managing my weight, or was particularly unappealing physically, I’d have had none of the positive experiences with women that I have. Women are actually horrible to one another and to any man they don’t feel meets their individual standards for dating. And the percentage of men they are horrible to, seems to be increasing. Where it used to be a girl who was a 5 would only be nasty to a man of 4 or below, 5’s now insult 7’s as if they think that would be settling. 7’s insult everyone but 9’s and 10’s among men. The self-delusions of women when it comes to their own quality as a mate seem to be getting worse not better.

And we’re not talking garden variety rudeness here. Troll around the redpill reddit just a little bit and you’ll see what I mean. Women aren’t just discouraging men when approached in a bar, they are stringing them along and toying with them like cat who’s decided to ‘play’ with a mouse. Subjecting some men to weeks or months of pointless cruelty for no reason other than the inflation of their own egos. It's just inflicting harm for shit's and giggles.

You can find literally hundreds of stories of what I can only assume are more or less average guys, who have all had women be far more cruel and vicious to them than I ever really knew women could be. The way these women behave is enough to make you understand why feminists equate hurtful words with hurtful acts. It’s the way they mean it when they speak to each other and to men they are torturing. It’s their proxy for violence, and they assume it’s the same for men. It really isn’t, but they don’t see that.

I still don’t understand the concept of Men Going Their Own Way. I can’t imagine being so disconnected from the flow of human life that you would consider giving up the whole idea of engagement with 50.1% of the population, however cruel they are to you. (Especially when the biological incentives are so strong.) But I do now appreciate how difficult it is for some guys. It’s not exactly the kind of thing that can be managed by ‘manning up’ and being courageous. And I want to apologize again if I’ve ever made it seem differently.

I do think there is a lot to be said for the process of focusing on self-improvement. It’s that old Hal Moore quote: “There is no such thing as three strikes and you’re out. There is always something more you can do.” You can lose weight, change your style, become better at being charming. All those things will help you gain more success with women. You can even focus on building your career, and as we all know, there is no such thing as an ugly man to women so long as he’s rich enough. But even if they do reject you, at least you’ll then be rich.

But the real thing you all need is to help in some small way to destroy Feminism once and for all. It’s a toxic belief system unsupported by objective evidence, and is the source of most of the irrational views of women in the dating market. And if we manage to convince no one but other men, I think that might be enough because fi they have no one to torture, they’ll have no choice but accept reality. We can let the air out of the balloons of their inflated egos.


MikeCLT said...

As I said in a comment to another post, I told my son that to understand white privilege he needed to substitute the word achievement for privilege.

I think you over estimate good looks as to what makes you attractive to women in NYC. It certainly helps but I think your achievements, and the way you carry yourself and project yourself to the world as a result of those achievements, has more of an effect on the women you meet. It's not the result of your winning the genetic lottery. It's the result of hard work.

Tom said...

I think that was her point, though maybe poorly said (by me). I agree that social presentation is a bigger deal to women, but the 'privilege' part is the part you're born with. Coming from modest beginnings as I have it never occurred to me that I had been born with anything but a tendency toward leadership (right or wrong) and a genetic predisposition toward alcoholism.