Since this is so, as someone who thinks of himself as alt-right, I thought it might be a good idea to come clean about our loosely knit organization’s 21st century ‘final solution. Right here I’m going to tell you exactly what the alt-right’s plans are for the tribe of Abraham, and how we plan to see it through. You ready? Here it is.
No one cares about the Jews. No one is out to get them, to see them persecuted, or rounded up, or put in boxcars, or sent to camps, and into ovens. Your paranoia really is getting a bit excessive Jewish America, you should really dial it back a bit.
We are not the klan. But even if we were, the klan claims it has 5000 members in the world. Common speculation is that 3000 of them are FBI agents, but for the sake of discussion, lets say they’re all card carrying “I wish Hitler were still alive” full blown anti-Semites. If they all got together and tried to round up west 91st street from Columbus Avenue to the river, they’d get their hooded asses handed to them. Come on… who are we really kidding here?
The anti-Semitic fringes of the alt-right will never be anything but the fringe. They have no power or credibility. They will never have any. They believe in an idea, which is morally wrong, (an idea that millions of Americans gave their lives in order to defeat) and it will never gain any traction in the American heart and mind. They will never be anything but a bunch of harmless, albeit slightly more disagreeable than average, kooks. Let’s all please stop treating them like they’re the newest big player in the game of identity politics.
But identity politics does have a new player. The left calls them ‘the people responsible for ruining everything’, but the right usually calls them ‘the people responsible for building everything’. They are of course, white people. Or to be just a hair more specific, people of European descent - subscribers to the proto-European civil tradition.
This was bound to happen. You spend a couple of decades telling people that they qualify as awful human beings just by being white, and sure enough, the Irish, Norwegian, Polish, French, German, Dutch, Swedish, Belgian (and yes even) German people look around and say “Hey … you know what? They’re right! We are all white! Maybe we’re all in this together after all?”
The next thing they say of course is, “Wait…that one’s a Jew… Get him!” No, just kidding. That’s not what they say. When they look around and see black people and brown people who behave very differently with regard to law and order than they do, and a billion Muslims who tell them every day that they want to murder them, and who are all unified in telling the white people that everything bad is all their fault, a peaceful, industrious, intelligent, Jewish population is not seen as the big problem.
Right now you’re probably saying “Well first they came for the black people!” But that’s a mistake too. They aren’t coming for the black people. They are coming for the black people who don’t want to start acting like white people, and asking them to stop it. They aren’t coming for Barak Obama who acts very white… well, in his specific case maybe they are coming for him. But they aren’t coming for the educated, intelligent, peaceful black and brown people. They aren’t coming for the poor, uneducated, black and brown people either. They are coming for the guy who stole the DVD player out of your mother’s car. That he happens to more likely be black or brown than white is relevant only in statistical terms.
OK, I’ll grant you that Richard Spencer and the NPI took things a little too far last week when they started throwing around Nazi salutes and screaming “Hail Trump” into the cameras at their annual Washington meeting. But to paraphrase a quote from one of the drones at National Review, there were only about 200 people there (and one of them was Tila Tequila) so the “my little pony for president” fan club probably has more overall influence on American culture. You really don’t need to worry about them. It’s a shame too because there were reasonable people there with thoughtful and reasonable ideas. The whole thing made me say to myself “This is why we can’t have nice things.”
But look, the political left is the one that said that what people look like is much more important than what they think. If that’s true, and all races really are as equal as you say, then surely it’s fair that white people get to be part of ‘equal’ too. You made the game, you made the rules. Don’t be so shocked that the people you blame for everything also want to play by them. White people didn’t even think of themselves as “white people” until you brought it up.
What the alt-right really wants is for America to start noticing that they don’t commit crimes nearly as often as some of the other groups you advocate for. They aren’t the lawless savage, disseminators of hate that the left makes them out to be. In fact, John Derbyshire, one of the intellectual leader of the Alt-Right, has been complaining for a long time that Midwestern white folk are simply too nice to survive in this kind of political climate.
This last election puts a bump in that theory since they’re the very people who elected Trump, but that’s not the point. The point is that there should be a single standard of behavior, and we would all do very nicely if the standard we adopted is the one that this country was built on and is still very much relied on, by those nice Midwestern white people.
I’ve heard it said by leftists that white people don’t commit crimes as often as people in other groups because they don’t have to, but white people feel differently about it. Civilized people can politely disagree. And regardless of motives, the government statistics clearly show that white people do behave very differently when it comes to peaceful law and order than some of the other groups of people. Those differences are the “multi” in multi-culturalism. So surely we can have a civilized conversation about it which involves real data, real statistics and real thinking, and not just more of the same hyper emotional name-calling we’ve heard for the last decade or so?
By the way, you know what other group tends to feel very similar to ‘white people’ when it comes to civil society and obeying the law? Jews. You don’t see Jews rioting. You don’t see them torching cars, throwing rocks at policemen, or getting worked up when people say that ‘all lives matter’ instead of just Jewish lives. In fact, until the left made ‘white people’ into a thing I always thought Jews WERE white people. They seem pretty white to me. They had lived in Europe very peacefully since the Roman era until Marxism and “National Socialism” came along looking for a villain.
All my life I thought that was more than enough to get them in the club, and I’m an Alt-right guy. As I said, I only recently learned that Jews may not be white after all, and I learned it from watching CNN. We can disagree about CNN’s broader reliability as a news source, but I think we can agree that it’s certainly not a bullhorn of white supremacist ideology.
As for the rest of what the Alt-right is really after, there is an excellent example out there in the real world, that most of the Alt-right would agree is doing things the right way in the nation state department. The feeling is that it should be looked to as an example of how a unique, civilized, and homogenous people can rule themselves peacefully and without boxcars or ovens. It isn’t Cambodia with it’s psychotic anti-urban-dweller purges, or or South Africa with it’s apartheid. It’s Israel.
So lighten up Francis, you really do sound silly. There is no mustached monster under your bed with a can of Zyklon-B. It’s just a bunch of kids acting out. Just like the ones screaming at each other right now outside Trump tower.