Friday, December 2, 2016

- Tall Man's Burden

It turns out that Donald Trump scotch tape's the tail of his tie and the media is all a flutter:

There are hundreds of unspoken rules that govern our society, rules that are not meant to be bent or broken, and that we all must live by. One of those is: Thou shall not use Scotch tape to fix wardrobe malfunctions.

I'm six foot two. As a coincidence I attended a business function last night that required me to wear a tie. I wore it perfectly situated with my belt meeting the tie between the tip, and it's widest point, and I still had to tape it. I've had to tape ties all my life, because ties are not cut for a length suitable for men of my height. Sure, I could tie a half windsor to extend the length a little, instead of a full windsor, which as a knot consumes more of the tie length. But I don't want to look like an adolescent prep school asshole.

Charlie Feeney, founder of duty free shoppers was a billionaire, and personally responsible for ending the millennium long, Norther Irish conflict. He was also my uncle Jack's oldest friend. He famously fixed his 'wardrobe malfunctions' with safety pins, scotch tape, or whatever else would work. Is that fashion? No. Does it work? I guess that depends on your priorities.

Hillary Clinton would no doubt have had her tie custom altered by a 12 woman team of seamstresses, their hand stitched ministrations guided by careful supervision of a millionaire italian fashion designer, recently elevated to the position of Director of Whitehouse Fashion (who the press would loving call the secretary of pantsuits) . But we all know where that attitude got her.

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