When I was 20 years old, I went fishing with a friend of mine. His dad kept a small condo at the beach with a slip for a small boat. While we were carrying our gear from car to boat, I couldn’t help notice the two VERY attractive girls in the boat slip next to us doing the same.
One girl in particular, who was already bopping about in a bikini in the morning sunshine, was truly breathtaking. Smooth skin, genuine smile, great big beautiful blue eyes, great tan, nubile curves, and small bikini that hid virtually nothing from view. In my memory I sometimes confuse her with the opening credits of “Charlie’s Angels” where Cheryl Ladd’s appearance in a bikini greatly resembled this girl. I've put Ms. Ladd's picture up above and the resemblance still matches my memory. Tell me honestly that if you met that girl, you wouldn't find her appealing. This girl was a 10 – as close to flawless as I had ever seen. Yes, they do exist.
My friend said hi to them as we approached, and dropped our gear into the boat. I did the same and was introduced for my trouble, and a few seconds of polite small talk followed. As we went back for the cooler of beer and food, I naturally asked my friend “Holy $41T who the hell is that?!” “That’s my neighbor’s cousin” he said “but don’t get any ideas. She just turned 15 last week.”
There is no one who would have ever bet that this girl was so young. Before he told me different I had figured she was my age. But being the kind of guy who was deeply influenced by society’s expectations, I put all illicit thoughts of her out of my mind – no easy trick for my 20 year old self. That girl looked every bit a woman, not a too young girl in her early teens. And no one, and I mean NO ONE would ever have accused me of pedophilia because I thought this girl was attractive. I’m completely certain that everyone who looked at her did the same.
This sort of thing happens. I’m sure you’ve all been there, and the vast majority of you probably did exactly what I did. There may have been a few inappropriate thoughts, but there were certainly no inappropriate acts. And life went on for all concerned without trauma. There is no reason to get all up in arms about it or to accuse me of anything. All I ever did was say hi, and cast an appreciative look her way. Besides, half the girls in NYC modeling agencies are underage, and I’m sure there are a large number of them who are much more actively lusted after by men who are too old for them, than I ever did with this girl.
So yes, this is really about Milo and his alleged ‘support of Pedophilia’.
If there is a single group of people who really are ‘marginalized’ like the social justice warriors all say, it’s got to be pedophiles. I’ll say up front, the idea is abhorrent to me, so we can put that behind us. But just suppose for a minute that we all possess the maturity to step back from the moral question and actually look at what this issue is about.
Pedophiles are all on a list. A carefully maintained and watched, government list. It’s illegal for them to live near schools, or to be in any profession where they are exposed to children in any way. Getting a job at all is probably tough because the list that they’re on is public, and there are even apps which will tell you precisely where they live. I can go online right now and find out where the nearest Pedophile is and what his name and crime were. I might even be able to see a photo of him. That’s got to be a very difficult way to live.
But apart from all that, there is quite literally no one on their side, (including me). You could beat one in the street if [his] pedophilia were public enough, and the police, the courts, the seminarians, and even the social justice schoolmarms who want to butt into everything, will all look the other way. There is no issue the west is more unified on than our disgust with pedophiles.
However, since the potential costs of sexual activity in the gay community are so low, and since they also tend not to be quite as put off by society’s expectations as my 20 year old self was, they’re really the only group of people in America who are not as completely put off by the idea of pedophilia in their personal lives, even if they avoid the political hot potato in public.
Milo, in discussing his own personal sexual past, talked through the loss of his own virginity in which he was a teenage ‘gay’ boy with an older man. And in an effort to deny his victimhood, he claimed that there are positives to all this, and that it ‘wasn’t the end of the world’ for him.
Milo, it seemed to me, was speaking frankly and honestly as is his way. He tends to spend a great deal more time talking about how things really are, or at the very least how he really sees them, than how we would all prefer them to be. And the fact that he was something less than destroyed by his teenage experience with an older man, seems to have attracted all the sharks of the ‘old right’.
I watched the video in question, and I thought Milo was talking about the homosexual equivalent of me being accidentally attracted to that 15 year old girl. I could be wrong, but I think he was saying that finding a physically mature human attractive doesn’t in and of itself make anyone a pedophile or even provide justification for accusing them of pedophilic tendencies.
After all, I wasn’t attracted to that girl because she was barely 15. I was attracted to her because I couldn’t tell that she was barely 15. And when I learned the truth, my physical attraction didn’t diminish in any way. She looked just as good after I learned her age as she was before I had learned it. The only difference was that I made the civilized decision to never to act on my attraction because I thought it would be inappropriate. But there is another angle to Milo's story.
I’m a heterosexual – very much so. And if some older woman had decided to have sex with me at age 13, looking back on it from here I think it would have been very traumatic experience, and would have probably left a mark. It might have changed how I see myself and how I see others in very important ways. 'Too young' sex usually does. And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the ways it might have changed me could have been correctly called ‘damaging’.
But I think after 13 year old Tom had recovered from utter shock of the idea, he would have been over the moon with it. At age 13 I fantasized about older women continuously, as many 13 year old boys do. And had it happened, I don’t think I’d have been inclined to call myself a ‘victim’ over it either – even if it’s what I objectively was. We can go ahead and pretend that this would be a simple moral issue, and objectively I think it is. But had it happened that way, I can't say for certain that the morality of it would be as perfectly clear to me in my own case. That ambiguity might even be the way I could have correctly been called 'damaged', but I don't think anyone would crucify me for that.
Also, this admission of mine - that 13 year old Tom would have liked the idea of sex with an older women even if middle aged Tom thinks it would have been a very bad idea - does not mean that I’m in favor of older women having sex with 13 year old boys, I’m not. 13 year old Tom DEFINITELY was in favor of it, but as a 13 year old, you can’t blame me if I had some immature and irresponsible ideas about things. That’s what 13 year olds are and why we don’t generally let them make life changing decisions on their own if we can avoid it. Fortunately I never had any event like that to worry about.
Unfortunately, Milo wasn’t so lucky. And looking back from that maybe bent, maybe seriously damaged view of things, he’s decided that he doesn’t wants to proclaim himself a victim, and wants to own the whole thing. That doesn't seem so terribly monstrous to me. Whatever the actual circumstances, and I'm sure we're going to learn them all, that someone wants to find positives in even the potentially worst experiences of their own life, is not something I'm ever going to call them a monster for. It doesn't matter to me how inelegantly he expresses it, or how unified we all are on how horrible it may have been.
Then there is the politics of this. Some shady neocon group cobbles together some video that makes Milo sound like he might maybe possibly be endorsing some aspects of pedophilia, an opinion he has unambiguously denied. Thus begins our ‘two minutes of hate’. I don’t know how he really feels about it and I don’t think the video clears it up for me at all. But I do know that this whole “he said something once that I can interpret anyway I like to brand him a monster” thing has got to stop.
I suspect that before the dust settles, all will be known. Milo is not one to shy away from a fight. And since I find him to be truthful more often than not, I’m going to wait until the facts are in before I call him anything at all other than what he claims he is. The ‘two minutes of hate’ folks on the other hand, I trust not at all. And I don’t’ see any reason to give them the benefit of the doubt today, just because they’ve found a brush to tar Milo with, that virtually everyone finds totally reprehensible.