Sunday, March 5, 2017

- Helping The Left "Get Over It"

I’m coming around on the idea that we just have to allow the left to get it out of their system. No one can go on being this detached from reality forever, and their rage and hatred has got to burn off eventually. So toward that end, I’d like to recommend a little performance art for America’s urban centers.

We should build an army of straw men – actual men of straw. On one arm we should affix an American Flag armband, and on the other, a Nazi Swastika. We should get a dozen or so for each of the hard left urban centers and on a given night, coordinated by Facebook, we should distribute them in key public locations along with a largish sign that reads “Vent Your Hatred”.

Making them 30% to 50% human scale will reduce their general threatening stature, emboldening the liberals, and saving on manufacturing costs. You could also think about adding police badges, army medals or any other symbol of authority to the statement to fulfill the anti-authority message.

Tie them to trees at Berkeley and in Washington Square Park. Set up a few on the tiny "free speech" zones on college campuses in Washington, Chicago, and Seattle. The sign will make it clear to the simple minded left that it’s an Anti-Nazi, message, and the irony of them being actual straw men will be missed like it always is.

If the builders hang around with cell phone cameras at the ready, I’m sure some excellent video will com from it. It might even be possible (which is to say safe) to hang around and verbally declare it an Anti-Nazi statement for anyone who is confused. Temporarily dyed blue hair would probably help preserve both the image of it being a leftist statement and the safety of the presenters, but I leave it to you to choose your own specific virtue signal.

In this setting, the leftists might even want to be recorded screaming, throwing stones, or otherwise venting their anger. And openly declaring it an “Anti-Nazi” statement might keep the leftists is question from setting fire to the straw men and ruining the joke. It will probably happen eventually, and can itself be recorded, but in the meantime, much hilarity will likely ensue.

Several worthwhile outputs will come from this. First we’d have the video of hundreds, maybe thousands of leftists physically ‘attacking a straw man’. We’d also get some psychotic screeds like the one that came from triggly-proff recorded for Youtube. You might even be able to get someone to pepper spray it. We’d also provide a few leftists physical access to express their rage at the fictitious opponent without anyone else getting hurt.

If I didn’t live in a 1 bedroom Manhattan apartment, 40 miles from the nearest hay bale, this is how I’d be spending my morning today. And the guy that follows my suggestion is sure to jack the hell out of his blog and Youtube channel view count. And since that seems to be what the world orbits around these days, I see no reason why it can’t be put to use to serve a good, peaceful cause.

And if you're worried that this blog post will ruin the surprise, don't be. I have no facebook account or twitter feed, so there would be no way for the left to hear about it.

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