A man waits all day in line for food and just as he gets to the front of the line, the man behind the counter hangs an 'all out of Bread" sign on the door. the man loses it. He begins jumping up and down screaming and shouting. "This is a travesty. Have you no respect?! I'm a veteran. I shed blood for this country!" Seeing his visible anger, a man in a long trench coat sidles out of the crowd toward the man, looking vaguely like the secret police, and puts an arm gently over his shoulder.
"Comrade" he says, "You mustn't talk so. These days we don't make such a fuss but remember back in the old days what would happen." As he said this, he menacingly put a finger in the shape of a gun to the back of the man's head.
"Yes" said the man obviously frightened. "I understand. It won't happen again." When the man arrived home empty handed his wife asked him, "What's the matter, were they out of bread again?" The man responded, "It's worse than that. Now they're out of bullets."
... Ok one more, then I've gotta go.
A Russian general and an American general were seated beside each other at a diplomatic function. Bragging, the Russian General said to the American General "We Russians have the best supplied army in the world. We give every soldier in the field 1,300 calories per day." The American paused for a minute then said "General, we give American soldiers in the field 2,900 calories a day. "The Russian general paused for a moment and looked at his fingers as if doing math in his head, and then burst out laughing jovially. "Oh General, you're a wonderfully entertaining liar. But no soldier can eat an entire sack of potatoes in one day."
Ok one last Joke about the Russians:
Try and catch me coppers. Top of the world Ma!