Thursday, July 20, 2017

- My NYTimes Audition

Another day, another riot. In Minneapolis last night another night of riots tore the through the Midwestern city. White people, long known as the most horrible scourge of all human history, tore through the city burning cars, looting shops, and throwing rocks and makeshift Molotov cocktails at the Police. 96,240 police were injured in the riots.

While peaceful Somali immigrants cowered from fear in their homes, mobs of hate filled whites chanted ‘white lives matter’ and ‘no justice no peace’ from the street below.

All of this turmoil comes from the perfectly natural reaction of a Somali policeman who shot an obviously racist Australian who was seen sneaking up on their police car as they sat in dark alley, in the mostly crime filled white suburb of west Minneapolis. Reports say the Australian woman silently crept up on the police in her pajamas and shouted “BOO!” as she came upon them unaware.

“It was a perfectly natural reaction.” said a peaceful Somali on the scene. “I mean, we all know how awful and raciss white people can be. I don't know anyone who doesn’t want to kill a white woman!”

Though women and minorities were obviously the hardest hit by the riots, the Minneapolis police have issues a statement declaring themselves the enemy of the evil scourge of ‘whiteness’ which since the Evergreen State College liberation, has been exclusively known as the worst, most oppressive and violent system ever.

And racism.

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