Saturday, July 15, 2017

- Your Choice For Westerosi King?

Since the last post was a fairly serious topic, let me now ask you a seriously silly one. With season 7 of Game of Thrones about to begin, who do you want to see end up on the Iron throne?

Not who do you think will end up on it. Not who do you think will be best for Westeros or for the plotline. Or... actually, those concepts will be fine if you think that's most important. The main question is who do you, personally and subjectively 'want' on the iron throne?

It's easy for me to identify the people I don't want. National Review has come down on the side of Peter Baelish for free market reasons. Though I'd prefer to see him torn to pieces by dogs like Ramsey was. He started the whole mess after all by persuading John Aran's crazy wife to poison him and frame the Lannisters for the crime. He's is absolutely Zuckerberg-ish in his megalomania, and I despise him utterly. No one who wants to rule so badly should ever be allowed to.

I have a special place in my heart for Tyrian Lannister because by his own description, he 'drinks, and knows things' which is how I hope my retirement will turn out. And besides, I met Peter Dinklage the actor who plays him when I was in College (introduced by a friend of mine who grew up in his town) and he now lives just a few blocks from me. I like the man, if not the character.

I don't know why precisely but Sansa Stark annoys me, and I don't think she should ever be given any authority over anything more important than the dinner menu. And though I find Daenerys Targaryen set up as the obvious hero of the story and I think her Dragons are pretty cool, (and if I had to be alone on an island with a single member of the cast, she would be my very first choice) I can't really get behind her as the inevitable ruler. She's just too progressive and a part of the 'establishment' in her opinions and thinking.

As an example, when faced with the challenge of a slave who wanted to sell himself back to his former master, she couldn't put the idea together of wages equal to the cost of room and board. She instead went to indentured servitude and a limited term slavery contract. Clearly she isn't clever enough to be ruler of the whole world.

The guys I think would be fun to see rule, Ser Bron of the Blackwater, and The Onion knight Ser Davos Seaworth, are both wild outsiders and would build very different Westeros's. I'd probably enjoy both of them though, so I like these guys as candidates in spite of their long odds.

But if I have to go with only a single candidate to rule all of the world of men after the destruction of the Army of the dead, I'd have to go with Tormund Giantsbane pictured above. If ever there would be a laissez faire ruler of Westeros, it would have to be him. He does not kneel, or wash, or possibly wipe himself. I can't tell you what it would be worth to me to see him greet the representatives of the Iron Bank as ruler of Westeros.

The Westeros of King Tormond would be a lighthearted place of simplicity with King Tormond solving most problems by saying either "well leave him alone then" or "cut his head off... problem solved." He has no desire to tyrannize the populace. He only wants to drink his ale, eat his venison haunch and chase Brienne of Tarth around the banquet table. For all her indignance (also pictured above) you know she's going to br thrilled with that idea when she finally submits to it, and she can use a little luvin in her life.

Tormond is by far the most 'Trump like' of the possible options, or would have the most 'Trump like' effect on the Westerosi ruling class. The uncouth monster from the north, whose favorite story is a lie about how he once f***ed a bear.. ". I can just imagine their reaction (every night when I turn on CNN). And there is a lot to be said for turning over the ruling class now and again.

So that's my pick. All hail King Tormond. First of his name, ruler of the Andals and the first men. F***er of Bears, and master of the seven kingdoms. Long may he reign.

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